How to make decisions through grief fog.

Posted on October 27, 2020 by Malcore Funeral Home under Uncategorized
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Let’s begin with cathartic validation: “grief brain” is 100% real. 

Our bodies lurch into a self-preservation frenzy when we lose a loved one. While we’re processing trauma and reconnecting with family, our adrenal glands are pumping out a stress tsunami by the name of cortisol. 

Cortisol isn’t all bad – it works as a chemical messenger to keep our brain on high alert for tapping into fight-or-flight. But it DOES take a toll on other “nonessential” functions, depleting our immune system, sleep regimen, focus, and ability to regulate emotions. 

So how can we make good decisions on behalf of our dearly departed when our melon is dialed to caveman mode?

Slow reactions way down.
Resist the urge to make big decisions on the spot. Hurrying an impulse answer along may result in frequent changes down the line that you don’t feel good about.

Listen to your body.
If an email, phone call or question spikes your heart rate, hold yourself back from answering. Give yourself space to contemplate before responding. 

Write down questions.
Keep a notebook by your bedside to keep track of all the questions that conveniently pop into your head at 3am. 

Get a dopamine kick.
Up your body’s feel-good hormones by listening to music, napping, meditating, scheduling a massage, or going for a brisk walk. These simple activities help ease your mind back from the edge.

Designate an unbiased sounding board.
If you’re still having a hard time processing a difficult request, connect with a friend who is emotionally removed from what you’re going through. You’ll get an objective POV that can help you comb through your thinking.

Ask for help.
Grief fog isn’t a quick, overnight thing. It can linger for months (especially when paired with a pandemic). A counselor or grief specialist can tailor coping mechanisms around your specific needs to help you move forward. Because remember, we don’t move on from death. We move forward with it.

Malcore Funeral Home

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